Over the past 72 hours, that is exactly what I have been able to do. I have experienced God's love, mercy, freedom and so many other parts of Him. I have been able to sit back, taste, and see that HE IS GOOD.
So where do I find myself after these 3 days? I can't answer that. Just because I took 3 days away from my social life, my cell phone, facebook, and other things, doesn't mean that I am a completely different person now. It doesn't mean I have "discovered" myself or who God wants me to be in just 3 days. I didn't have this sudden epiphany. It didn't happen like that. I wish it did, but like I said in my last blog: I don't write the syllabus of my life...GOD DOES!
So I guess in a way, that's "where I am now"
I am still sitting before God, in submission to Him, patiently waiting for instruction about the next step He wants me to take. That's what I've really learned... it's a step by step, day by day, gotta be ready whenever He calls kind of thing.
And when I say "patiently waiting" I am giving myself a LOT more credit than what I deserve, because I am not very good at being patient. That's a lot of what God has shown me. I need to humble myself before Him and just be patient.
He has put it on my heart and in my mind that yes, He DOES have something specific planned for me. He DOES have somewhere specific He wants me to be. He DOES want me to trust Him to go out and do whatever it is He may want me to do...but just by taking 3 days off doesn't mean He will reveal everything to me right now. He has taught me so much in this short time, but right now He's telling me to just be patient. To wait. To trust Him. He will call me but it will be when HE wants to call me.
I definitely do feel called somewhere for Him, but I don't know where that is right now. It could be in Texas, it could be in another state, or it could be in another country -- I DON'T KNOW!
He knows, but like I said... that's not what He wants me to know right now.
I guess I was pretty frustrated the past few days just because I wanted to know right away. I wanted a big, bright, yellow sign in front of me saying:
"HERE! I WANT YOU TO GO HERE! LEAVE ON THIS DATE, TAKE THESE THINGS, WORK WITH THESE PEOPLE, AT THIS PLACE!"
That's not how God works. I will get there, one step at a time.
This first step was just Him letting me to know that yes, He has something planned for me, but right now it's about letting Him come in and transform me, equip me, and allow me to grow... THEN the next step will come.
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." --Philippians 4:6-7
I'm excited to see where this place is. Who He is calling me to work with. When I will be able to up and leave and go serve Him...but at the same time, He has me where I am right now for a reason. I should be excited about that. I should be excited about the people I am working with here, right now, in Lubbock.
That's the challenge for me: to not get too wrapped up in this idea that I will be going somewhere else to work for Him. That time will come when it comes. Right now I need to focus on what He wants to do with me here, right now, and how He will use the situations I am faced with NOW to transform me into the woman of God that He will use somewhere else down the line.
I feel like this post was really jumbled and probably all over the place. I'm sorry if it didn't make any sense at all, but my mind is pretty jumbled and all over the place and not everything makes sense to me right now. I just know that God is powerful, He has a plan, and trusting Him is the only thing that I can do!
Through everything, even when our questions aren't immediately answered, even when we are frustrated and confused, and even when things don't make sense, one thing is still certain: GOD IS GOOD! And God is FAITHFUL!
(okay, so that wasn't just one thing, that was 2 things...and there's actually a LOT of other things about God that are certain, but those 2 are the things that came to my mind right now)
Day 3. And there you have it.
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