Love is...

Love is patient

Love is kind

It does not envy

It does not boast

It is not proud

It is not rude

It is not self-seeking

It is not easily angered

It keeps no record of wrongs

Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth

It always protects

Always trusts

Always hopes

Always perseveres

[1 Corinthians 13:3-7]

Remember back in Sunday school when we would insert our names into this?

Stephanie is patient

Stephanie is kind

Stephanie does not envy

Stephanie does not boast

Stephanie is not proud

Stephanie is not rude

Stephanie is not self-seeking

Stephanie is not easily angered

Stephanie keeps no record of wrong

Stephanie does not delight in evil, but rejoices in the truth

Stephanie always protects

Stephanie always trusts

Stephanie always hopes

Stephanie always perseveres

Pretty good way to think about it, huh? Right. But I mean, what if we ACTUALLY paid attention to what was being said instead of just picking out the best colors to put on the paper we make in Sunday school with these words drawn on it so that it will look good on the refrigerator?

Isn't that how we often go through life anyway? We just pick out the best words to speak, or the t-shirts with the most clever "Jesus phrases" on them, or even our status on facebook... but is it as deep as we play it off? Is it a lifestyle or is it just what we think looks the best on the front of our refrigerators?

Love is the only thing that even gives us a shot at being united with our Creator. Jesus wouldn't have cared to come down here, to live a life surrounded by messed up people, with messed up views, to die an undeserved death, unless he loved us. And he did. And since Jesus is love, and love is all of the previously listed things, and we are called to love... well, you see the cycle...

So many times I use this as a checklist:

patience evident through me sitting through one red light? check.

being kind by not letting a door slam in someone else's face behind me? check.

not boasting in how good my outfit looks today? check.

etc, etc, etc...

I really don't have a profound statement to follow this up with, because I still haven't figured this out. I lose my temper quite often, I smart off at my parents, I'm definitely not humble in all circumstances, I get angry and cranky way too easily, I hold grudges... but that doesn't mean that God's love isn't real and it doesn't mean that I'm not aware of how much God loves me, despite my actions.

Well, I'm not sure how to wrap this up so, this is me wrapping this up.

The End.

God is good, all the time; all the time, God is good.

holla.

-SG

Day 3

"Taste and see that the LORD is good..." --Psalm 34:8

Over the past 72 hours, that is exactly what I have been able to do. I have experienced God's love, mercy, freedom and so many other parts of Him. I have been able to sit back, taste, and see that HE IS GOOD.

So where do I find myself after these 3 days? I can't answer that. Just because I took 3 days away from my social life, my cell phone, facebook, and other things, doesn't mean that I am a completely different person now. It doesn't mean I have "discovered" myself or who God wants me to be in just 3 days. I didn't have this sudden epiphany. It didn't happen like that. I wish it did, but like I said in my last blog: I don't write the syllabus of my life...GOD DOES!

So I guess in a way, that's "where I am now"

I am still sitting before God, in submission to Him, patiently waiting for instruction about the next step He wants me to take. That's what I've really learned... it's a step by step, day by day, gotta be ready whenever He calls kind of thing.

And when I say "patiently waiting" I am giving myself a LOT more credit than what I deserve, because I am not very good at being patient. That's a lot of what God has shown me. I need to humble myself before Him and just be patient.

He has put it on my heart and in my mind that yes, He DOES have something specific planned for me. He DOES have somewhere specific He wants me to be. He DOES want me to trust Him to go out and do whatever it is He may want me to do...but just by taking 3 days off doesn't mean He will reveal everything to me right now. He has taught me so much in this short time, but right now He's telling me to just be patient. To wait. To trust Him. He will call me but it will be when HE wants to call me.

I definitely do feel called somewhere for Him, but I don't know where that is right now. It could be in Texas, it could be in another state, or it could be in another country -- I DON'T KNOW!

He knows, but like I said... that's not what He wants me to know right now.

I guess I was pretty frustrated the past few days just because I wanted to know right away. I wanted a big, bright, yellow sign in front of me saying:

"HERE! I WANT YOU TO GO HERE! LEAVE ON THIS DATE, TAKE THESE THINGS, WORK WITH THESE PEOPLE, AT THIS PLACE!"

That's not how God works. I will get there, one step at a time.

This first step was just Him letting me to know that yes, He has something planned for me, but right now it's about letting Him come in and transform me, equip me, and allow me to grow... THEN the next step will come.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." --Philippians 4:6-7

I'm excited to see where this place is. Who He is calling me to work with. When I will be able to up and leave and go serve Him...but at the same time, He has me where I am right now for a reason. I should be excited about that. I should be excited about the people I am working with here, right now, in Lubbock.

That's the challenge for me: to not get too wrapped up in this idea that I will be going somewhere else to work for Him. That time will come when it comes. Right now I need to focus on what He wants to do with me here, right now, and how He will use the situations I am faced with NOW to transform me into the woman of God that He will use somewhere else down the line.

I feel like this post was really jumbled and probably all over the place. I'm sorry if it didn't make any sense at all, but my mind is pretty jumbled and all over the place and not everything makes sense to me right now. I just know that God is powerful, He has a plan, and trusting Him is the only thing that I can do!

Through everything, even when our questions aren't immediately answered, even when we are frustrated and confused, and even when things don't make sense, one thing is still certain: GOD IS GOOD! And God is FAITHFUL!

(okay, so that wasn't just one thing, that was 2 things...and there's actually a LOT of other things about God that are certain, but those 2 are the things that came to my mind right now)

Day 3. And there you have it.

Day 2

Well, yesterday was pretty relaxing, and it was very nice just being able to go through my day at a slow pace, not super busy like I usually am. I could just slow down, think, and be fully aware and in awe God's creation. My mind was relatively clear and I got to actually enjoy my day.

I went over to the Wesley and went down to the CHOP room yesterday afternoon and spent about 2 and 1/2 hours just sitting, praying, singing, and listening. It was very refreshing just being able to sit in the presence of God and be reminded of how great He is and of his faithfulness.

Last night as I was walking back up to my dorm, I was just praying for some sort of direction from God. I knew He would speak to me if I asked Him to and I was trying to grasp what He wanted me to hear from Him and for some reason Matt Chandler popped into my head. I love Matt Chandler's sermons so I thought, "Okay, God, you want me to go listen to a podcast or what? What's the deal?" Then, as crazy as this sounds, I felt like I was being told to go to my dorm, look up his podcasts online, and listen to the third one. I was pumped because I knew God was going to use one of my favorite speaker's to tell me what I needed to hear!

It's funny how God let's us get excited because we think we know what He's up to, but then it's not that way at all. I was excited to hear Matt Chandler and what happens? I look down at the third podcast and it was a guest speaker for that week at The Village Church (where Matt Chandler preaches). Of course. But I still knew that I should listen to it.

The guy's name was Eric Mason. He is the preacher at a church in Philadelphia called Epiphany Fellowship. Wow. God knew what He was doing when he put the thought of "third podcast" in my head! No, it wasn't Matt Chandler, but it was what I needed to hear at that time!

He talked about "The Great Invitation" and yes, that's the invitation we have from God as disciples. One point that he made that I absolutely loved was this:

"Disciples of Jesus Christ have a journey with Him that is constantly unfolding..."

How awesome is that? We are in a relationship, on a journey, with Jesus Christ and it never gets dull, it never gets boring, it never gets too routine, because He is constantly revealing and unfolding new things to us!

He talked about how 2 disciples of John the Baptist saw Jesus and left John to follow Jesus. Back in these days that was huge. This was showing that they were completely disconnecting themselves from their former teacher and life to be connected and committed to Jesus.

Jesus asked them what they wanted and they replied by asking Jesus where he was staying. Jesus told them "come and see" AND THEY DID!

They had no idea where he was going, yet they followed him anyway! They became his apprentices... which is what we are to do as well. I want that kind of commitment and faith to just up and leave whatever is going on in my life and become completely connected with Jesus.

We are to be the apprentice of Jesus. To do as Jesus did. To look like Jesus. To LIVE like Jesus. No ifs, ands, or buts.

"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart" -Psalm 37:4

This does not mean, delight yourself in the Lord then you will get whatever you want. It's not a trade-off of any sort. What He means by this is that when we delight ourselves in Him, our desires will change to match HIS desires. What we think about will be things of God. What we are concerned with will be things that concern Him.

Christianity is about being transformed, not about transforming God...HE DOESN'T CHANGE. We don't write the syllabus to our own lives. God does. That's why HE will transform us. Not vice versa. We submit to Him. He doesn't change for us. He is constant.

What is really awesome to think about is that He wants to give each of us the desires of our hearts... the desires that match His desires. He will engage with anyone and everyone who wants to engage with Him. He calls all kinds of people into relationships with Him.

He wants to transform us all - rich, poor, arrogant, humble, religious people, radicals, thieves...it doesn't matter because He is willing to engage with us all!

When Jesus first met Peter, he gave him a nickname right away. He called Him Cephas, which means "rock". This may have seemed like a huge compliment, but Jesus did not give him this name because Peter was worthy of it. He gave him this name because it foreshadowed the man that He was going to transform Peter to become.

He meets us where we are so that He can take us beyond where we are! He doesn't come to save us because of what we have to offer. He comes to save us, gives us something to offer, and then uses us!

I was just blown away by how God revealed Himself to me through all of this. Before I start asking God for things, I need to make sure they are my desires BECAUSE they are His desires as well. I want my focus to be about how He can transform me, then use to me.

Thanks to Eric Mason, since a lot of this wisdom was shown to me through that podcast!

I listened to the first half of this podcast last night, and the second half today at CHOP. And after I finished it, I just read some scripture, prayed, and God totally reiterated everything that was said.

It's crazy how much easier it is for me to recognize what God has to say when I just slow down... when I am quiet and still.

"Be still and know that I am God." -Psalm 46:10

And that is day 2 thus far...

Day 1

“Then he said to them all: If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it.” -Luke 9:23-24

That's quite a challenge, but one that should not be taken lightly.

Yes, we make mistakes, we fall short, we are selfish, WE AREN'T PERFECT.

But our attitude should reflect the desire we have to WANT to follow Him and give up what we have so that we can do that.

People have become so focussed on getting the next best thing, the most expensive car, the biggest house, expensive brand name clothing, etc... everything is so materialistic. I am guilty of this, very much so. However, I don't necessarily think He is talking about just giving up our material items. He demands much more than that. He demands our time, our efforts, our attitudes, our lifestyles.

I've decided to try something that I've never done. This morning I turned off my phone and will keep it turned off for the next 3 days. I also told my friends that I am going to be off the radar, not hanging out or anything for the next 3 days. I just need some me and God time to take a step back, SLOW DOWN, and really just fall on my face in front of Him to allow Him to reveal Himself to me and show me what He really wants from me. I feel like I so often become content with where I am and I don't seek Him or His will in my every day life and I just need some time to search for Him and meet Him to spend time with Him.

Just like any other relationship, you have to put forth effort in order for the relationship to grow and become stronger. If you don't spend time with the other person in the relationship, you don't get to know them any better, and the relationship continues to be very superficial. God is yearning for a true, deep relationship with each one of us and He will meet us where we are!

That's what I'm hoping for now. For God to meet me where I am, and to deepen this relationship.

And now day 1 begins...

the past 2 weeks.

I honestly have no idea where to even start...

SO much has happened since spring break and I am completely in awe of the Lord and His power and faithfulness! People have been saying it, and it's happening: THERE IS A REVIVAL!

God's presence is so overwhelming, thick, and tangible. His Spirit is everywhere. The enemy is at his prime, attacking us because he knows that we are a huge threat. We are speaking powerful words in Jesus' name building up the Kingdom and Satan is shaking in fear because of it!

The Sunday after spring break, CHOP started. CHOP stands for Campus House of Prayer and it is a 24 hour a day prayer time for an entire week. We had a room set apart and set up as a place for people to go pray and just spend time in the presence of God. People signed up for one hour shifts all week to make sure that there was always someone there at all hours of the day/night praying. Even though we only signed up for 1 hour a day, many people ended up spending several hours there, and some even spending the night up there. It was incredible. Needless to say, CHOP was amazing and God was very present!

That Thursday after spring break, during CHOP, I went to the Thursday night worship service at Indiana Baptist (which is where I have been going to church) and as I was sitting there, I found myself praying for Foundation and the people that are a part of it. Then I realized that the names I was lifting up were not part of Foundation. So then I just broadened my prayer to the different organizations like the Wesley, Paradigm, Overflow, and other groups around Lubbock. I was just praying for God to reveal Himself through these people and for Him to give them courage and wisdom as we all face the opportunities he puts in front of us, even if we are mocked and persecuted. I did not think I was praying for anything specific, just a broad prayer for all of the people across Lubbock... well, it turns out that I WAS praying for something specific, something that would take place later that night.

After the Thursday night services let out, a group of about 50 college students went out to the Depot District in Lubbock which is where most of the bars and clubs are that a lot of college students go to on Thursday night because Thursday night is college night. 50 people from different organizations all met as ONE BODY OF CHRIST. They broke up into small groups and went around just doing whatever they felt led by God to do.

Some went to Wild West and prayed over the entire place while enduring the laughs, pointed fingers, and straight persecution. Some stood outside of the bars, praying for God to bring them someone. For one group who was standing outside, a young man names Marcos was kicked out of the bar and came out right where this group was standing. They got to talking and the guys told Marcos that they were just there doing what God wanted them to do. They asked why he got kicked out and Marcos said he didn't even really know, that it was for no reason. One of the guys outside responded with "No, you were kicked out for a reason. God had you kicked out so you would come out here where we were waiting and praying for you outside"

He was completely overwhelmed by this and wanted whatever it was these guys had...which was the love and power of God. Marcos ended up staying with this group of guys the rest of the night, walking around the Depot, praying and talking to people about Christ. He has now been hanging out with these guys and developing his own relationship with God.

Others went to Whataburger and just sat down and talked to people. A few of the people they talked to didn't open up, but others were moved to tears by the end of the conversation. All of these stories were pretty incredible.

I didn't know about anyone going to the Deopot until Friday morning when some of my friends that went out there told me about it and shared their stories. I was taken aback by their stories and the movement of God and all that was being done in His name!

Talking to different people the next day was absolutely amazing. Those who went to the Depot, those who were at CHOP, those who just went to bed early, were ALL fully aware of the presence of God. Things kept happening and coming up and there was so much affirmation of what was going on. The verses I was led to were out of 1 Peter 5:8-9

"Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your fellow believers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings."

This obviously went side by side with what happened Thursday night. Other people were led to these same verses and we were all doing different things, at different times, and at different places, but we all strongly felt the Holy Spirit and were led to the same thoughts, ideas, verses, etc. For some people it happened while they were at the Depot, others it was at CHOP, and for my friend Cassie, it was 2 hours she spent sitting in her car just tearing apart the Word, being moved so strongly by these verses and others that she read. Everything went together and it has all come down to this: God is here; His Spirit is with us; spiritual warfare is all around us, but our God is faithful and so much more powerful! And finally...the revival is HERE!

This is just a little taste of what the past 2 weeks have been like in Lubbock.

I'll try to write some more this weekend about everything. God has really shown Himself in big ways the past 2 weeks and this movement and revival isn't slowing down.

And this is one favor I ask of those who read this:

Please lift us up in prayer as we continue to go where God leads us and put ourselves out on the line for Him.

"Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. And pray for us too, that God may open a door for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ, for which I am in chains. Pray that I may proclaim in clearly, as I should."

Colossians 4:2-4